What do you see when you look at the above photo? Does it inspire awe and beauty, or does it overwhelm the senses and bring on a sense of spinning in circles?
For me, it depends if I have been honouring my personal boundaries or not. So many of us start with good intentions and then let excuses get in the way, allowing mission creep.
As they say, the way to hell is paved with good intentions. When I return to my values and use them as my guiding compass, I am able to shift and PIVOT into conscious decisions, thereby cultivating my healthy boundaries.
It is important to remember that not only do we need to set healthy boundaries that honour our values and make things like self-care non-negotiable, we also have to nurture and maintain them in order for others to honour them. How can we possibly expect others to respect our boundaries if we fail to meet them ourselves?
It is not selfish to have boundaries. It is not selfish to take care of yourself or be who you are. I want you to read that again.
My guru on healthy boundaries, Randi Buckley, taught me how to look at life through different lenses and develop a deeper understanding of context, nuance and discernment.
She recently reminded me to “not water what I don’t want to grow” which includes relationships, situations, obligations etc. As a pivoter, and eternal curious soul, I will always encounter opportunities that capture my attention. I constantly remind myself, and am reminded, that I need to honour and let go of what was to make space for what will be.
It’s a journey to step into your authentic self, and sometimes you will lose things. You will lose pieces of yourself that no longer serve you. You will lose people that no longer align with the direction you are heading. You will feel lose the “safety” you thought you had in the known. You will lose these things yes, and in addition you will also lose things like anxiety, imposter syndrome, and living life by other’s expectations. In their place you will gain confidence, conviction and the ability to integrate all sides of yourself for a more calm and fulfilled existence.
This work on healthy boundaries has been so powerful to me that I am now beginning my journey to become a facilitator of Randi’s program, Healthy Boundaries for Kind People. I already incorporate her teachings into my work, and I am beyond excited to be able to bring her program to life in Hong Kong and with my international clients soon.
Struggling to maintain healthy boundaries and feeling lost on what your values are? Get in touch to learn how we can start to shift that, together.
I can’t wait to see what your garden looks like!
Your curly-haired boundaries architect,
-Sarah the Pivoter